When it comes to grabbing the reader’s attention, a great first page is vital. With agents, if they don’t make it past the first page, well, you know what happens.
With my current WIP (YA contemporary), I knew there was something not quite right about the beginning. But I couldn’t put my finger on it. It had voice, but there was no real connection with the main character. I knew it needed something more, but what?
Then I heard that agents Joanna Volpe and Suzie Townsend are critiquing the first 250 words of volunteers’ novels and posting the feedback on their blog, Confessions From Suite 500. The one rule: You have to study the first page of several novels from your genre. Great. That sounded simple enough.
Four hours later, and a huge stack of novels on my floor, I had studied the first two paragraphs of 38 YA contemporary novels, 15 YA paranormal novels, and 16 winning YA entries from past MSFV Secret agent contests. I compiled the data into tables (did I tell you I’m analytical?) and indicated which first two paragraphs hooked me. Based on the results, I came to this startling conclusion:
The first two paragraphs that made me want to read more involved a combination of introspection and action.
When I say action, I’m talking maybe a sentence or two just to break up the introspection, and it wasn’t big action. And, of course, the introspection wasn’t rambling or long. It got to the point within the first paragraph and was loaded with voice.
My findings also supported what Donald Maass wrote in his Writing The Breakout Novel Workbook. In his workshops , he has the participants read their first lines. After each line is read, the participants put up their hand if they would keep reading:
“Weather effects, descriptions, and scene setting never get a strong response. Neither does plain action—unless there is something puzzling about it. The best first lines make us lean forward, wondering, What the heck does that mean?”
Now remember, these results are based on the beginnings that hooked me. Try this exercise for yourself and see what kinds of openings appeal to you the most. You might be surprised.
(Edit: I've had requests for me to publish the tables. Just click on this link if you want to see them.)
44 comments:
Aren't the First Page Shooters Suzie is doing wonderful? That last one "Killing someone is easier than you think." really grabbed my attention!
I'm still undecided about this whole aspect of writing, and I've been looking into it on my own blog too. I think a good hook on page one will definitely help hook the reader, but I'm not convinced a slow start (unless it's truly awful) will necessarily put a reader off.
From the openings of books that I've enjoyed I've worked out they start in various ways (I know, I'm a genius), and most strikingly, I can never recall being wowed or put off by their opening lines or first page (not until I go back to study those things).
I've read enough books in my life to know they vary. Some have a great start and peter out. Some are great apart from the ending. And some are terrible until halfway through, then they pick up. I read them because I want to (for various reasons), not because I was hooked line by line.
This sort of ad copy/marketing approach to writing is a little one dimensional at times, I feel. It just make sit more convenient for agents to locate a particular kind of easy to sell book.
I think I might be feeling a bit jaded today. Does it show?
mood
Moody Writing
I do this all the time. I pick up published books in the store and read the first page to figure out how they hook the reader. SOmetimes I'm not hooked at all. Other times, I see exactly why they made it to print.
You're spot in with the combo comment. The elements have to work together to deliver the hook, or it just doesn't happen.
I started to write a blog post about it too, after we had this discussion. So now I can link it right to yours-this is awesome!
I will have to try this. I still have to get the Donald Maass book. I've looked at some first pages totally not interested and others I can't stop reading the book. I guess this goes up there with the whole it's subjective thing, too.
Cool exercise! I love a great first sentence hook! And I love last sentence hooks too. I love all hooks! LOL
Great post, Stina! Would you consider putting up the table?
Martina
Fantastic post! I'm going to go back and look at my first two paragraphs. And the Writing the Breakout Novel Workbook is one of my absolute favorite writing how-tos.
Martina, I'll try to figure that out tonight, and add it to the post (or figure a way to link it). :)
Good post. Although I don't think it is fair that publishers sometimes reject a manuscript after only reading the first page, from what I hear it it does happen.I mean they could be passing up a really great book and not know it. I am always going back to my manuscripts and revising to make sure that first line or page contains something that will hook the reader and/or publisher. I like what you said about the best first lines make us lean forward, wondering, what the heck does that mean?
It is extremely important to hook the reader in the beginning. The same goes for publishers if you are trying to submit a book. I recently went and listened to an author and she was talking about beginnings. Editors love action right away was her whole take on the publishing process. I'll let you know if I ever get published.
Wow! Great analysis.
I'm going to try and read a bunch of first pages (I won't analyze though :), just to see!)
Thanks for the great idea and info, Stina!
Wow. I'm in total awe at your analytical skills. Can't wait to see your charts and now I'm thinking I'd better go read my first pages again.
Seriously, you are amazing!
Wow. Great post. I love looking at the first pages to see what grips me. I like a bit of action mixed with introspection in my opening pages. :)
First pages are what I struggle with the most. It's the biggest problem in my WIP right now,I can't seem to move on because as I read and reread the first paragraphs something just isn't right and I can't figure it out... Argh! I've decided instead to move on and maybe it will come to me as the story develops.
This is really interesting, because from what we see, you'd think lots of action was necessary on the first page. I go for the introspection too, because it has a way of revealing the character right away, and forming a connection with the reader.
Love this analysis, Stina. It totally resonates with me, and in a way, it's such a relief to see that others have the same sense about what draws them in on the first page. We hear so much about action in the opening that it's easy to forget the action is really just a backdrop for character. Thanks!
I'd really like to see the tables. Please do publish them.
One of the things a great writer friend told me was to make sure there is an emotional hook at the beginning - like Katniss needing to save Rue from the Hunger Games - something that immediately grabs the reader's heart and squeezes. Hard.
I took a weekend workshop once that only concentrated on the first line or two of your story. It took us all 14 hours to write a good first line "hook" and they were all excellent. We didn't write a lot of words but it is one of the top workshops I have attended.
Great analysis! :) And yes, I would love to see those tables. You've summed up what the first sentence needs to do (what the heck was that?!) better than anyone else I've read! :)
I can always count on you and Laura to be breaking apart books and analyzing what works and why! But tables? LOL. I wish the first two paragraphs of a book weren't so frickin complicated. Sometimes it seems like anything goes. Other times you can kind of make out a method or a formula but all in all- I think agents are like most other readers sometimes. They aren't always 'on'- on the lookout for the right combination. It can be about what they're in the mood to read, just like when we go to a bookstore, which is discouraging.
I had no idea Suzie was doing that!
It's really great. Thx for sharing.
And btw, I LOVE the new design of your blog!
Cheese and rice, Stina...you're brilliant! It's crazy to think that while we're just writing stories, there's actually some logic to the best way it should be presented for others to be receptive.
What an awesome idea! I love the ladies at Confessions From Suite 500. They come up with the most amazing ideas that keep expanding my mind. I'm definitely going to try this. Thanks!
I'm impressed by how thoroughly you studied first lines! I love a great first line, and can recognize them when I see them. But to write a great first line? That's the challenge!
"The best first lines make us lean forward, wondering, What the heck does that mean?"
I agree...and I've started many of my books with some shocker sentence that left people wondering. But I read an agent or editor recently complaining about too much of that. Apparently everyone's jumping on that bandwagon now and it's becoming overdone?
Great post, and thanks for the confessions blog link. I just popped over there, and it's fantastic! Openings are tough for me.
This sounds like something every writer could benefit from doing. I've recently started noting down hooky first sentences, I might have to expand it to the first 250 words. Paranormalcy didn't hook me with the first sentence (dialogue) but the rest of the paragraph was crammed full of Evie's voice which quickly became the best part of the novel. I'd love to see your table, too!
- Sophia.
Tables?! Oh Stina, I'm just picturing you with all those books spread out :P Interesting that action alone didn't top the list because you hear about it so much. Great insights!
Good beginnings are kind of hard. I've changed the beginning of one of my books MANY times, and each time I thought I had it. Hopefully this time's a winner. I spend a lot of time studying YA books for "what works", and I do think that the more you read, the better you'll be able to write. It really does help. But--I've never made a table! I'm really impressed with you!
Beginnings torture me. And I admit, I do the same thing when picking new books--read those first few paras and see if they catch me.
Can you do screen shots of the tables, save them as jpgs and post them that way? Not that it really makes that much difference, my problem-solving brain just wonders if it would work. :)
Interesting about the action and introspection. I'll have to keep that in mind.
...wow, definitely did your share of research. Nicely done, gotta hook 'em on that first page. Hook 'em or lose 'em:)
EL
I should do this kind of research myself before I rework my opening. Thanks for sharing your findings! I'm also writing contemp YA. :)
I'm a first line peeker, and if it hits me I'll read the first page. I've left my finger prints on many a book in Barnes and Noble. I'd love to see you table. I get the warm fuzzies for spread sheets.
I am so impressed! I'd love to see the chart, even thought I can't promise I'd understand it!
Stina, I love that I always learn something new at your blog.
Shelley
I'm one of those people who puts a book down instantly if they don't want to read more after skimming the first page. If anything other than the thought "what will happen next?" doesn't enter my head after the first few sentences, I don't even bother with it.
To write a good beginning, you just need to ask yourself "so what?" to your first page. If you can find a "what" you're doing it right.
Sorry - I have been sucked into rough draft land. But I'm so glad I stopped by because what an awesome find. And it kind of meshes with what I've been thinking/saying. Yes have action, but make us care about the character through the action. Right?
Hello! hope you good.I just want to say this is a great post.Really nice of you sharing it up here.Am staying in touch for more.Keep it up.
Meanwhile plz do check my blog on freeing your mind read it,follow,be inspired and comment to improve my works too.Have a wonderful day.
EBENEZER
This AND Monday's post have been bookmarked. You rock!!! :-)
Wow, kudos to you for doing such great research. THANK YOU for filtering it down to two fantastic tips!!!!!
Ah, I'm going to have to run this info over my first lines! Thanks for the post, Stina! I have a bit of opening action, but it's pretty bland and not too catchy. Hmm...
This is really great. You are really making these blogs invaluable. RE: your editing tables...it's like seeing Kate Hart's charts. Awesome!
Awesome post Stina, and I'm so impressed with all your research! Fascinating conclusions too - off to compare with my current first paras :)
Hugs,
Rach
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