Rejections. We all hate them. But what’s the best way deal with them?
I love to go all badass when I get one. We have a punching bag in the basement, so I crank the music up, don my boxing gloves, and go crazy (kicks included). No, I don’t imagine I’m beating up the agent who sent me the rejection. Instead, I’m saving the world from evil. I’m like a hot, badass paranormal heroine. (When I say ‘hot’, I mean sweaty).
By the time I’m finished, I’ve forgotten about the rejection and have burned tons of calories. And if I’m really lucky, I might have brainstormed a solution (if the agent gave me specific feedback). But the best part is, I feel awesome!
How do you deal with rejections?
45 comments:
Love that picture. What a great way to deal with them. I haven't started submitting but I tend to get depressed. I'll have to try the exercise approach.
Loud music and sometimes a walk. I also write about how I'm feeling. Sappy, I know, but trust me it works for me. I need to get a punching bag for when I query. I know I'm going to need it.
Ooo, that's a much better way to deal with rejection!! My way usually involves indulging in something chocolatey. :)
I would love a punchbag! Although, actually, I've had so many rejections, they don't faze me at all anymore. Which, in itself, is slightly depressing.
Workout, workout, workout!
Anything physical. Makes me healthy and clears my mind.
It definitely gets me down for a couple days. I spend time getting inspired, reading a great book, watching a great TV drama, and realize it's okay and the move on!
I allow myself to mope for about...five seconds then I go to the gym. Like Mary said, it clears your mind.
Oops! I forgot to post my link. I wrote a post about rejection a few months ago over at YAStands about rejection fueling your fire. Here's the link: http://yastands.blogspot.com/search/label/rejection
*snort* I can SO picture you doing that!!!
Walks and music, definitely!
I usually throw myself a small pity party and then start again. One person's rejection is another one's gold!
Going all Rocky sounds like fun. I just more or less say **** happens and move on.
In the past, if I'd received a rejection with feedback, usually a long walk happened first to mull it all over. I'd see if I really felt the insights were valid and if I might incorporate them into my work. But it took the walk first to mull.
I weep without shame!
:-(
Take care
x
That sounds like a productive way to deal with rejections! I just sigh and move on I guess! (And if there is constructive suggestions, keep them in mind)
Haha! I'd never thought about doing something like that, but I'll DEFINITELY keep that in mind and buy a punching pillow or something. :)
I kinda weep too, lol!
I use the counter-punch approach. Whenever I receive a rejection, I turn right around and send out another one the same day. :)
Wish you'd posted this when I was getting all my agent rejections. I'd have gone and ordered a punching bag.
There were levels of rejections. If it was only a query, I would sigh and move on. If it was a rejection on a full by an agent I'd visualized drinking champagne with, there would be weeping, wailing, and the rending of garments, which is good exercise in itself. (And then, to keep my calorific balance, an excess of chocolate.)
Good for you Stina! I don't have a punching bag and since I'm about 10 weeks away from my due date, I'm not up to doing much exercise right now! I'm at the point where I just shrugged it off and send out another query (that is if it is a query). If it was a rejection from a full or partial, I take that more to heart. I let myself feel sad for about 1 minute before I just find something else to do.
This is so much better than having a cookie! #needtodothis :)
Or - you could be choreographing a fight scene. Books need fight scenes.
I go for a run to get rid of all the frustration. Rejection really does make me run faster, so I suppose it's sort of a good thing? :)
I barely blink anymore, they're so common. Now that I'm on my second project, though, I find that the first rejection on a sub garners an afternoon of ugly crying. After that, I don't bat an eye.
I shut my computer off and go for a run or walk. If I'm lucky it's on a day where I play volleyball or soccer and I have a ball to take my frustrations out on.
Although I really do like your idea.
What a great idea!
sadly, I pout for a while. Then eventually, I shake it off and get back to work. :-)
When I received one, I'd feel sad, especially if it was an agent I REALLY wanted. Then I'd hang the quey on my door next to a poster that said, "I will sell one million copies. =D Oh, and the queries and poster are still there. I've sold over 10,000 copies. Only 989,000 more to go. Whoot!
Great idea! It's all about multitasking - getting rid of stress after a rejection and building muscle at the same time. :)
I gotta try boxing! It helps me to talk it out with my support team - my husband or crit partners. I once heard a story of a woman who would drive up into the mountains and throw goodwill china plates off a cliff when she was mad. Maybe a plate for every rejection. :)
Wow, that's a great way to get out the angst!
Me? I just wallow and eat chocolate, LOL! ;)
I do what lb diamond does. But recently I realized that rejection makes you stronger. A few weeks ago when two authors attacked reviewers in the course of days, neither of them ever had to query. If they had, they might have responded differently.
Love it! That's a fantastic idea. Plus you get a great workout, too. Oh, and the "When I say ‘hot’, I mean sweaty" bit made me laugh.
I pretty much shrug my shoulders, try to figure how to make it better, and realize it's just another chance to get better and grow stronger. Then try and find someone who knows more than the last rejector.
What a great post. And I love the picture. Rejections are awful. They really are. I like to go for a long run. When I was taking taekwondo classes that was the perfect outlet for me too. And chatting with my crit partners. They always make me feel better.
LOL. Love it! I think I may need to go bad ass very soon. :)
As much as I try and take them in stride, they always sting. I go pound the pavement on a fast walk with some Nickelback or Adele.
I honestly don't care! I file the rejection, put a cross on my spreadsheet and move on.
I'm already badass - or a robot with no emotion!!
I love that you go all badass paranormal heroine! Yeah! *fist pump*
I like your idea. Mostly, I read the good feedback letters to remind myself how awesome (ahem.) I am. Lol.
Definitely a tough workout at the gym helps. I like spinning and power classes although a good weight-lifting workout on my own leaves me weak-kneed and exhilarated too.
I usually get depressed and try to find a way to unthink it
At this point I really can't remember what it's like to get anything but a rejection :) So I just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming ... :)
What a great idea. And I am totally impressed that you own boxing gloves.
I just got my first one last night. I'm going to do what James Dashner said he did. With every ten rejections, he would take his wife out to dinner. One down, dear, nine to go.
I haven't got this far yet, but I think I might like to order a pair of boxing gloves ...
I think I've seen enough rejections that I treat them like any other business. I seldom even get upset; I just make plans for where I'll send my next submission.
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