Revealing Characterization through Banter

I have only three words for you: The Hex Boys. 

I recently read Demons at Deadnight by Alyssa and Eileen Kirk. The best part about the book (which is great, btw) were the six hot teenage guys. But it wasn’t their hot bods that made me fall in love with them, it was their banter. They cracked me up every time. So, for part of the Demons at Deadnight blog tour, Alyssa and Eileen wrote a guest post (at my begging) on writing awesome banter. They’ve also included tips on writing dialogue based on gender differences.

Make sure you check out the end of the post for information about their giveaway. I have one of the secret words you’ll need for a chance to win a Kindle Fire. Plus, I’m giving away a copy (paperback or ebook) of their novel Demons at Deadnight. If you want to be entered for the book giveaway, let me know in the comments and include your email address. It’s open internationally. The giveaway will close Wednesday, February 15^th at 11:59 pm EST. 

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One thing we haven’t a shortage of in Demons at Deadnight is banter. We adore it. Dialog is a great way to show rather than tell who your character is. And with six hot male leads—that’s right, six—we use their dialog, word choice, sentence structure, and speech pattern to establish and distinguish character, as well as deliver necessary information.  

Context plays a big part in how the dialog works but we’ve tried to provide examples that are still effective without a lot of knowledge of the rest of the story. Here, the Hex Boys are in the midst of discussing the organization they work for.

***       

“Wait. Who’s she again?” Blake said.

Matthias sighed. “Don’t you ever pay attention? She heads up the Divinicus task force.”

Blake looked blank.

“Sophina Cacciatori.” Matthias continued. “She taught some conferences in Europe?”

Logan spoke up. “You described her as the curvy, hot, Italian brunette with—”

“Great legs!” Blake finished with a broad grin.

***

Hopefully you learned:

- Sophina Cacciatori: A big deal in a worldwide organization and so important Blake should know her name instantly.

- Matthias: finds Blake’s cavalier attitude and lack of knowledge irritating. Is more serious and responsible. Has a hard time relating to Blake. 

- Blake: Playful. Unconcerned with the administrative aspects of their job. Bit of a horn dog. 

- Logan: Informed. Great listener. Knows Blake inside and out. 

Characters with fundamental differences create conflict which is always fun. Use the moment to reveal information about your character and information relevant to the plot.

Here, Aurora is just coming out of unconsciousness and since it’s first person, what she’s thinking is actually part of the banter. 

***

“How’s that my fault?” Matthias said.

“You’re the only one mean enough to make her think we’re kidnappers and killers.” I’d never heard Logan so passionate.

“We are killers,” Matthias said.

Bad news.

“Not girls. We don’t kill girls.”

Good news.

“She’s no girl.”

Insulting news?

“What? Of course she’s a girl.”

“Want me to check?”

“Shut up, Blake,” the rest of them chorused.

***

The short version? Matthias = jerk. Logan = protective, gentleman. And even though they work for the same organization, they see their roles very differently. Then Blake = girl crazy and the rest of the boys, all too familiar with his antics, shut him down.  

Gender Differences in Dialogue

Here’s a great tip from the many conferences we’ve been to. In terms of gender, guys tend to speak concise. To the point. Concentrate on facts. Lack of extraneous verbiage. Shorter sentences.  

Girls, on the other hand, like to use more words, and construct longer sentences which contain supplementary descriptive prose and express a vivid interpretation of their feelings and emotions, their experiences and the environment surrounding them. 

See the difference? So after you’ve written a guy’s dialog, go back and cut. And cut again. 

However, we have a Hex Boy who is extremely verbose. Why? Because his character is…not mainstream. He’s an oddball. Not your typical guy, so it works. 

The same information will be delivered differently by each character, so when you have something you need to say to move the plot along, pick the character who’s going to express it in the most riveting manner. 

 And if the character is conflicted about the information they have to verbalize, all the better. For example, the shy one has to talk about sexuality, or the cynical one has to talk about love. You get the idea.

Make every word count, have fun, and bottom line, know your character inside and out, then let them do the talking!  

Stina, thanks so much for having us today. It’s always a pleasure to dialog with you!

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Kindle Fire Giveaway Info

To enter to win the Kindle Fire you need to know the secret phrase given out one word at a time by each blog tour host. Put the words together in sequential order and you'll eventually have the secret phrase! Right now you can Tweet and Follow on the AEKIRK Blog Tour Page to get points but starting March 9 (at the end of the tour) you can enter the complete phrase on the AEKIRK Blog Tour Page and earn BIG entry points! Your Kindle Fire will also include your choice of a DEMONS AT DEADNIGHT Skin. Either from the cover, or a Hex Boy group shot or individual "Team" skin of your favorite Hex Hunk!

The secret word from my blog is: ADDICTIVE (Yes, those Hex Boys are very addictive)

To view the entire list of blogs on this tour, click the banner at the top of the post!