Monday, February 6, 2012

Revealing Characterization through Banter

Demons at Deadnight Blog Tour Banner with Hex Boys


I have only three words for you: The Hex Boys

I recently read Demons at Deadnight by Alyssa and Eileen Kirk. The best part about the book (which is great, btw) were the six hot teenage guys. But it wasn’t their hot bods that made me fall in love with them, it was their banter. They cracked me up every time. So, for part of the Demons at Deadnight blog tour, Alyssa and Eileen wrote a guest post (at my begging) on writing awesome banter. They’ve also included tips on writing dialogue based on gender differences.

Make sure you check out the end of the post for information about their giveaway. I have one of the secret words you’ll need for a chance to win a Kindle Fire. Plus, I’m giving away a copy (paperback or ebook) of their novel Demons at Deadnight. If you want to be entered for the book giveaway, let me know in the comments and include your email address. It’s open internationally. The giveaway will close Wednesday, February 15th at 11:59 pm EST. 

<<<3

One thing we haven’t a shortage of in Demons at Deadnight is banter. We adore it. Dialog is a great way to show rather than tell who your character is. And with six hot male leads—that’s right, six—we use their dialog, word choice, sentence structure, and speech pattern to establish and distinguish character, as well as deliver necessary information.  

Context plays a big part in how the dialog works but we’ve tried to provide examples that are still effective without a lot of knowledge of the rest of the story. Here, the Hex Boys are in the midst of discussing the organization they work for.

***       
“Wait. Who’s she again?” Blake said.

Matthias sighed. “Don’t you ever pay attention? She heads up the Divinicus task force.”
Blake looked blank.

“Sophina Cacciatori.” Matthias continued. “She taught some conferences in Europe?”

Logan spoke up. “You described her as the curvy, hot, Italian brunette with—”

“Great legs!” Blake finished with a broad grin.

***
Hopefully you learned:

- Sophina Cacciatori: A big deal in a worldwide organization and so important Blake should know her name instantly.

- Matthias: finds Blake’s cavalier attitude and lack of knowledge irritating. Is more serious and responsible. Has a hard time relating to Blake. 

- Blake: Playful. Unconcerned with the administrative aspects of their job. Bit of a horn dog. 

- Logan: Informed. Great listener. Knows Blake inside and out. 

Characters with fundamental differences create conflict which is always fun. Use the moment to reveal information about your character and information relevant to the plot.

Here, Aurora is just coming out of unconsciousness and since it’s first person, what she’s thinking is actually part of the banter. 

***
“How’s that my fault?” Matthias said.

“You’re the only one mean enough to make her think we’re kidnappers and killers.” I’d never heard Logan so passionate.

“We are killers,” Matthias said.

Bad news.

“Not girls. We don’t kill girls.”

Good news.

“She’s no girl.”

Insulting news?

“What? Of course she’s a girl.”

“Want me to check?”

“Shut up, Blake,” the rest of them chorused.

***
The short version? Matthias = jerk. Logan = protective, gentleman. And even though they work for the same organization, they see their roles very differently. Then Blake = girl crazy and the rest of the boys, all too familiar with his antics, shut him down.  

Gender Differences in Dialogue

Here’s a great tip from the many conferences we’ve been to. In terms of gender, guys tend to speak concise. To the point. Concentrate on facts. Lack of extraneous verbiage. Shorter sentences.  

Girls, on the other hand, like to use more words, and construct longer sentences which contain supplementary descriptive prose and express a vivid interpretation of their feelings and emotions, their experiences and the environment surrounding them. 

See the difference? So after you’ve written a guy’s dialog, go back and cut. And cut again. 

However, we have a Hex Boy who is extremely verbose. Why? Because his character is…not mainstream. He’s an oddball. Not your typical guy, so it works. 

The same information will be delivered differently by each character, so when you have something you need to say to move the plot along, pick the character who’s going to express it in the most riveting manner. 
 And if the character is conflicted about the information they have to verbalize, all the better. For example, the shy one has to talk about sexuality, or the cynical one has to talk about love. You get the idea.

Make every word count, have fun, and bottom line, know your character inside and out, then let them do the talking!  

Stina, thanks so much for having us today. It’s always a pleasure to dialog with you!

<<<3

Kindle Fire Giveaway Info

To enter to win the Kindle Fire you need to know the secret phrase given out one word at a time by each blog tour host. Put the words together in sequential order and you'll eventually have the secret phrase! Right now you can Tweet and Follow on the AEKIRK Blog Tour Page to get points but starting March 9 (at the end of the tour) you can enter the complete phrase on the AEKIRK Blog Tour Page and earn BIG entry points! Your Kindle Fire will also include your choice of a DEMONS AT DEADNIGHT Skin. Either from the cover, or a Hex Boy group shot or individual "Team" skin of your favorite Hex Hunk!

The secret word from my blog is: ADDICTIVE (Yes, those Hex Boys are very addictive)

To view the entire list of blogs on this tour, click the banner at the top of the post!  





60 comments:

Laura Pauling said...

Sounds like a fun book to read. I remember you tweeting you were reading it. I love good banter and dialogue in books. Terrific! And I love the cover! I'm in for the giveaway.

laurapauling at yahoo dot com

Laura Marcella said...

Terrific information in this post! The tips about writing dialogue for the opposite gender is especially helpful.

Congrats, Alyssa and Eileen!

mmshaunakelley said...

This looks really good! The author certainly knows what she is doing!

Natalie Aguirre said...

Great tips on dialogue and making the different characters sound different, something I struggle with. And that's an interesting tip to remember about guys talking more tersely.

Lindsay N. Currie said...

Great post Stina! It's hard with multiple characters the same gender to distinguish them sometimes, but so, so important. Like you, I found their dialogue to be not only realistic and interesting, but very informative which is perfect. Thanks for sharing!!!

Janet Johnson said...

I love me some good banter! Sounds like Alyssa and Eileen have it down. I especially loved that last example. :)

Pat Hatt said...

Nice tips indeed, love to use banter to get the characters over. It helps when you give some a quirk too, then they can sound different with ease.

Maria said...

Thanks so much for the giveaway! I really want to try this one! :)

tirachii(At)yahoo(dot)com

Joanne said...

Dialogue done right just carries me right along as a reader, putting me right there in the story with the characters. I'm passing on the giveaway, but enjoyed the great advice today.

Slamdunk said...

Good point Stina about the gender differences in dialogue. Perhaps that is why most guys (me included) dislike talking on the phone--we are forced to be more descriptive.

Make every word count indeed.

LTM said...

love love LOVE showing charcterization this way. And reading it. To me, dialogue is the by far the #1 best way to show what your characters are like, who they are, what motivates them, etc. And the tags work wonders. Great point, Stina! And sounds like a fun book. SIX male leads... I'm impressed~ :o)

April Plummer said...

Banter is so much fun to read! I love it! And there are many gender differences - that's definitely something to keep in mind and something I sometimes forget. Especially during dialogue. So thanks for the tips - they are definitely something I can use!

Samantha Vérant said...

I really enjoyed the dialogue here. You could distinguish between the characters AND it moved quickly- just the way I like it!

Christina Lee said...

Niiice! Banter is a win win! So true about guy vs. girl dialogue!

Alice said...

Great banter, give away, and tips on writing gender specific dialogue. Thanks!

Sarah Pearson said...

What a great post, really useful. I love the part about the gender speech differences. I have to go, I think I have some cutting to do ...

Old Kitty said...

What fun banter!! Oh but "hot" always helps!
LOL!

Take care
x

Dawn Ius said...

Oh I LOVE when dialogue the the catalyst for making you fall in love with a character. Even the hottest physical description can be ruined with cheesy or bad dialogue. Great post!

Southpaw said...

Great advice on writing dialog for the different genders. I loved the last bit. I want to know what happens next.

Meredith said...

Oh my goodness, I have to read this book! That banter made me laugh out loud (and I love how much character is involved in each line). Awesome advice about boy vs. girl dialog--that makes so much sense!

Dovile said...

I'd love to win a copy of this book. Thanks for the chance!

spamscape [at] gmail [dot] com

Matthew MacNish said...

I'm not sure I'd be into a book starring six hot dudes, but I will say those were a couple excellent examples of how much characterization can be supplied by dialog.

Lisa Gail Green said...

Well I'm definitely intrigued by the book! And I loved all the tips on dialogue. Thanks!

JEM said...

I'd love a copy, banter is my water when reading. I can't live without it.

Great post, too. I tend toward character reveals in dialog, so this post gives me a few more tips to beef up my banter :).

nat said...

thanks so much for the chance. I really want to read this. Enter me please.

natcleary(at)gmail(dot)com

Lydia Kang said...

So true! That dialogue speaks way beyond just the words.

trishloye said...

Some awesome tips in this post! The book sounds great. I'd love to be in the giveaway.

tloye (at) shaw (dot) ca

Danyelle L. said...

This was awesome! Thank you. :) I loved how you could learn so much in just a few short lines of dialogue.

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Blogger keeps knocking me off the blogs of friends. Darn them. I re-upped and showed them! LOL. Lydia and you are right : the best dialogue says more beneath the words! Roland

lbdiamond said...

LOVE this post!!!! SO useful!

Kristin Lenz said...

Agreed! The banter examples were really helpful - thanks for sharing.

Missie, The Unread Reader said...

I remember reading that "Insulting news?" line and LOLing!

Gender really does make a huge difference in communicating. I loved the banter in DaD. And yes, Matthias had his jerky moments, but I could still get where he was coming from. I think he is just very guarded. But it was sweet for Logan to get so defensive. And Blake...what a goof! :)

Susanna Leonard Hill said...

Sounds like a fun book, and I love banter dialogue!!! I'll have to check it out!

Angela Ackerman said...

I have heard you praise this book so much I will have to get my hands on it. :) Like your breakdown of guy vs girl dialogue as well. :) So true. :)

ali cross said...

Loved those stellar examples! Adding the book to my TBR! Thanks everyone!

Patti said...

I loved your advice about sentence lengths. You're so right. We women are too long winded.

Colene Murphy said...

AHH! You had me at banter. I LOVE some great banter. Will definitely seek this one out ASAP!! Thanks for the recommendation!

Dianne K. Salerni said...

I love banter!! My characters often reveal themselves to ME through their banter. It's how I get to know them.

That said, some of it (a lot of it) has to get cut in revisions. Banter has to forward the story or it doesn't make the final copy!

Christina Farley said...

What a great contest! I'm a big fan of great dialogue. There is nothing more that I love than characters who come to life through their words.

Beth said...

This is such an informative post. I've never thought about the difference between male and female dialogue before, but I will now! Thank you!

Christine Danek said...

Great info Alyssa and Eileen. I love banter. I have some cutting to do on my guy MC. Thanks for the great post.
Count me in on the contest. Thanks Stina for hosting.
cdanek13(at)gmail(dot)com

Leslie Rose said...

Great advice to chop the boy talk. I recently got together with high school friends (all guys) and they fell right back into the same banter back and forth rhythm from the old days.

BURIED IN BOOKS said...

Those are some great tips and some great conversations! I can't wait to read it!

Heather

Donna Hole said...

Great tips. The book sounds fun too; except hot teenage guys leave me thinking of my own sons.

......dhole

Lisa Tapp said...

Great post! It's hard to imagine keeping up with six lead character voices, but from the examples they do it well. Sign me up for the give away!

Susan Fields said...

Great post! I love the examples - they really helped illustrate the point. I'd love to be entered in the giveaway!

tracikenworth said...

Great direction!! I will have to try cutting and re-cutting my "guy" dialogue this way. Thanks for the tips!! Also, good luck on your tour!!

Shannon O'Donnell said...

AWESOME tips!! And now I have to read the book. :)

Tristan said...

This is a great post, I've never really thought of it that way. From what I can tell over the last few stops, I'm really gonna enjoy Aurora. ;)
Tristan @ Reads With Wreckless Abandon

Ghenet Myrthil said...

Great post! I like the banter examples they shared. The book sounds really fun.

That tip about cutting words from guy's dialogue is really smart! I'm going to make sure I do that.

elaing8 said...

Great post.Enjoyed reading it.
I can't wait to read this book.
elaing8(at)netscape(dot)net

Dawn Simon said...

Great tips--thanks for sharing! Sounds like a fun book! :)

Margo Berendsen said...

Oh WOW there is so much good information packed into this one post!!! Amazing how you can define character in banter made up of short sentences! Such a good point about boy dialogue being concise, but then make them talk about something they're not comfortable with... all great stuff. I am just stewing in happiness.

DL Hammons said...

I make generous use of banter in my book. Oh yea...the coffee shop girls do a little bit of bantering also. :)

Kris-10 said...

This book sounds great! I would love to be entered to win a copy! :))

kristen10horses[at]yahoo[dot]com

Heather said...

This sounds totally awesome. Yes I did just use those two words together. I've got to get this!

Christa Desir said...

Wow...how do I not know of these HEX BOYS? *runs around interwebs to gather information*

Nice scene choices, lady.

Cynthia Chapman Willis said...

Well-done dialogue and banter tells me much about the characters and can make such a difference in a story.

Veronika said...

Nice post, thank you! And what an awesome giveaway =) Can't wait to read the book.
verusbognar (at) gmail (dot) com

Cheryl said...

Definitely count me in for the giveaway; thanks!

geoarchs(at)gmail(dot)com

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