Striving To Be Better

As writers, we do everything we can to hone our craft. Our libraries are filled with books on writing. We tear our novels apart during the editing process, and submit our words (and egos) to be torn apart by our writer friends. We enter contests. We post our pages on forums such as Verlakay and Absolute Write. Everything to give us that edge, to get better.

But sometimes that’s not enough.

I recently landed a request from an agent for my novel. I was excited, of course. But I was also realistic. Fortunately I queried an agent who *gasp* doesn’t reply with a form rejection. Instead, she gave me feedback no one else had. In the past, I'd go back and fix those errors then query the next group of agents. My writing has grown a lot since my last book (according to those who’ve read both) because of this.

But this time that approach wasn’t enough.

This time I decided to take a writer’s workshop. That’s the only way my writing can really improve.

So I did the research and found two Writer’s Digest workshops I wanted to take. I couldn’t make up my mind, so I registered for them both. The one on writing a YA novel has nothing to do with my problem, but heck, it looked really cool. Plus the instructor is Gloria Kempton, who has written numerous articles and books on writing, and landed six figure deal for a YA series. Nice, huh? Fortunately I already had the textbook, Writing & Selling the YA Novel by K.L. Going.

The YA course started last week, and I’ve been working hard on the assignments. The other one will start in three weeks. I’ll get tons of feedback on my novel from published authors and from my class mates. Plus I can ask about the issue the agent pointed out.

And speaking of the agent. We somehow ended up having a conversation after I thanked her for her feedback. I mentioned I was going to take a workshop through Writer’s Digest and asked her if I could requery her afterwards (once I fix the problem). Normally I wouldn’t do that, but she’d been so supportive and encouraging about my novel. She was the one who told me not to give up it and to work on honing my craft some more. She was the one who inspired me to do whatever was necessary to become a better writer.

Her answer was yes!

So my question for you is: What steps have you taken to become a better writer? Remember, everything we do counts.

Update: I got back the comments on my first assignment which was based on a scene from my novel. I kicked some heavy duty butt on it. Yay!

Which Comes First? The Character or The Plot

Some writers live to outline. They shudder at the thought of writing without the scaffolding. That would be, gasp, deadly.


Other writers love to live dangerously and write by the seat of their pants.


Each method works. And each comes with pros and cons. I’m curious though. How many writers come up with a detailed plot first, and how many focus on characterization before anything else?


For me, I’ll have an idea for a book and jot down notes. Maybe even the logline. I’ll then work on the characterization for the main characters (the protagonist and the key secondary characters). I have an extensive questionnaire, but I also work through a personalizing exercise described in Getting into Character: Seven Secrets A Novelist Can Learn From Actors by Brandilyn Collins. (Check out this post for more info)


It’s during this process that I come up with more ideas for my story. Then I organize my outline based on these. The end product might be different from what I’d first envisioned, but that’s okay. It still works with my logline and the story is way better than what I’d originally planned.

So for me, I definitely have to outline. But characterization comes mostly before plot. Of course, I still need to have some idea of the plot before I start; otherwise, the characters would be all over the place.


What about you? Do you outline? Do you figure out your characters first before the plot? Or do you just jump in and worry about your characters and plot as you write?

ps. This cool picture was created on Photoshop Elements. Now you know what I do when I'm procrastinating.

Hail to the Query Ninja

Last week I volunteered to have Elana Johnson (aka the Query Ninja) from the Query Tracker Blog do some spectacular moves on my query. I’d bought her e-book FROM THE QUERY TO THE CALL (brilliant book by the way, especially with the examples) and wanted to take her up on her offer to crit the query.

This is the before version:

Ten months ago, Calleigh Clarkson was a star on the high school swim team. But after a fan assaulted her, she quit swimming. Unwilling to tell anyone the truth, she buried herself in her studies. Now it’s summer vacation. She wants to be the fun-loving girl she once was, the one her friends miss.

Great plan, except her nightmares are growing more intense and frequent. And now she’s experiencing flashbacks. So not part of the plan. Calleigh’s determined to deal with them on her own, before anyone figures out something’s wrong. Fail that, and her mom will drag her to a shrink. And that’s the last thing Calleigh wants.

Then she meets Aaron. He’s a former competitive swimmer, haunted by a secret. As a romance develops between them, Calleigh discovers Aaron’s sister committed suicide. She realizes that for them to heal, they both need to return to the sport they love. But before she can do that, Calleigh has to push past her fear, and find the courage to swim again. Only someone doesn’t want that to happen.

LOST IN A HEARTBEAT is a 76,000-word young adult contemporary novel, which will appeal to readers who enjoy books by Sarah Dessen and Sarah Ockler.

I’m not going to rehash her comments here, but do check them out on the QT blog. You can learn tons from them.

I love her examples in her e-book, and really wanted to make mine sparkle just as much. So after much thought—and rewriting—I came up with the following:

Seventeen-year-old Calleigh has a plan for summer vacation, and it totally doesn’t include burying herself under the truth of what happened ten months ago. Once a star on her high school swim team, Calleigh quit when a fan assaulted her. Now she wants to be the fun-loving girl she once was. The one her friends miss. Great plan, right? Too bad her nightmares are growing more intense and frequent, and now she’s experiencing flashbacks. So not part of the plan.

To top it off, her best friend’s seriously hinted this’ll be their summer for romance and guys. And gasp, she’s even lined up a guy for Calleigh. As a romance develops between Calleigh and Aaron, he tries to help her deal with the disturbing dreams while also trying to convince her to start swimming again. And geez, is he ever persistent. But when Calleigh discovers his sister committed suicide, she realizes that for them to heal, they so need to return to competitive swimming. Only thing is, Calleigh and Aaron’s sister are linked in a way she could never have imagined—a connection that could be deadly for Calleigh.

LOST IN A HEARTBEAT is a 76,000-word young adult contemporary novel. It will appeal to readers who enjoy the character-based stories of Sarah Dessen and Sarah Ockler, and also to those who love the romance and danger in PERFECT CHEMISTRY and the VAMPIRE ACADEMY series.

See the difference? As you can tell, voice played a big part in it. Plus the ending is way better. That part was driving me crazy. Elana’s book really helped me there. (There’s my not so subtle hint that you need to check out the book if you’re planning to write a query soon).

The best part is I’ve modified the query slightly (I don’t want the reader to know about Aaron’s sister just yet) and turned it into a blurb for the novel. That and the first three pages can be found under the tab MY BOOKS at the top this blog.

Thanks Elana for your help!

PS. my new query landed me my first request yesterday. Okay it helped that I did major rewrites on my voice in the novel, but Elana made sure it came out in my query.

Body Part Workout

Two weeks ago, Kate Testerman (agent) posted on her blog about smirk and other words to avoid. Now the problem wasn’t so much the words, but how often they might show up in a manuscript. For example, I read one popular YA paranormal novel in which the main character or one of her friends rolled their eyes for a grand—and painful—total of between 100-200 times. Sometimes eye rolling occurred twice on the same page. Fortunately, for the next book in the series, the author found some other gesture to overuse.

It was really Jodi Meadow’s comment that got me thinking. She mentioned that some writers get obsessed with a particular action—say breathing—and use it way too many times in order to demonstrate emotion. Gulp. Guilty as charged. Since I have a background in physiology, especially cardiology, and spent eight years prompting cardiovascular drugs and ones for asthma, I have a bad habit of relying on anything to do with breathing and the heart when describing emotions.

After reading Jodi’s comments, I used the FIND function in Word to see how many times I’d abused the terms. I’m not going to tell you the exact numbers, but it was way beyond embarrassing. I then highlighted them using a different color for each body system I used. Determined to cut the number to something I could count on one hand (and I mean major cutting), I systemically went through the pages. Anything I thought was important, I kept. Anything I knew wasn’t a big deal was either cut or rewritten. I did this several times till I was able to negotiate my way down to my goal. And the best thing is, my writing’s much stronger for it.

So give it a try. Is there some word or phrase you think you might be abusing? Do what I did. You’ll be shocked at how many times you can remove the offending item and not even miss it. I promise.

Note: dramatization of Lost in a Heartbeat was brought to you by Wordle.

Voice Envy

Not long ago, I started sending out queries for Lost in a Heartbeat. I didn’t expect a lot of agents to jump on it since it deals with a tough issue. It really isn’t for everyone. Fortunately, among the form rejections were two personalized ones. The agents liked the concept (yay!), but my voice was an issue. Groan.

I also entered last month's Miss Snark’s First Victim Secret Agent Contest (see her blog for more info on future ones). The Secret Agent was intrigued with my first 250 words, but thought the voice was bland. Talk about a left hook to the ego. Luckily, one of my brilliant crit partners had also read the entries. She told me the ones that grabbed her attention were the ones written in a chick lit voice. She was envious because that wasn’t her natural voice—it was mine.

Now the thing is, I'm jealous of her voice. I also love the voices of Sarah Dessen, Alyson Noel, Lisa McMann, and Richelle Mead. The trouble is I love their voices so much I lost sight of my own. It wasn’t like I was trying to emulate them. Now that would have been a huge disaster. But my Voice Envy had seriously hurt me.

Finding your voice is tricky, especially when you’re a new writer. It’s so easy to want to write like someone else. But even when you’ve established your voice, it so easy to let Voice Envy sway you. Sometimes it works. And sometimes the results are disastrous—as I’ve proven.

For more information on finding your voice, check out the blogs of Mary Kole (agent with Andrea Brown Literary Agency), Elana Johnson (contributor of the Query Tracker Blog), and Christine Fonseca for their brilliant insight.

Has anyone else struggled to find and keep their voice? Or is there an author whose voice you envy? Just beware of that nasty old Voice Envy. You never know when it might strike.

So I’ve learned my lesson. I’m now storing my voice in a safe place so I don’t lose it next time. Somewhere safe from Voice Envy.

The Link Between Writing and Photography

Yesterday, Carolyn Kaufman (Query Tracker Blog) posted a great article on what writer’s could learn from photographers. Naturally, I started to think about other connections between the two disciplines.

Stories have themes. It’s the unifying thread that ties everything together. Great pictures have themes, too. Like in stories, sometimes they’re obvious, and sometimes they’re not. If you haven't already, figure out what theme you're going for when you take pictures. It doesn't have to be complex. Maybe just a word like friendship. And definitely make sure your stories have a theme.

And what about detail? I love doing close up photography. It’s the attention to detail that gets me excited. For example, in the above shot, I zoomed close to the plant so the only thing you see are the leaves and the rain drops. Those are the important details. Not the ground or my home. It’s the interaction between the two that'll stick in your mind. Same thing with writing. By focusing on the important details, relating to the setting or character, a more vivid image is painted in the reader’s mind. Specific is easily remembered. General is quickly forgotten. But like in the plant picture, keep the number of details presented at a time to a minimum so not to overwhelm your reader.

And then there’s perspective. Remember how changing the angle from which you take a photo gives you a completely different picture. Same deal with fiction. Maybe your story could be told from a different point of view than from what you’d originally envisioned. For example, Cinderella is told from her point of view. But what if you retold the story from the fairy godmother’s point of view? Or better yet, the fairy godmother’s really a teenage girl attending the Academy of Fairy Godmothers, and Cinderella’s her first class project. The story would be very different, right?

So there you go, some more things to dwell on as to how you can make your pictures and writing even better. And thanks, Carolyn, for inspiring this post.

Stay tune for tomorrow’s topic. I’ll be discussing that dreaded condition that writers fear—Voice Envy.

Mission Objectives

Okay, quick question. In each scene of your short story or novel, can you tell me the objective for each of your characters? In other words, what are they planning to do?

For example, say you have a scene that takes place in a math class. Better yet, social studies. That class always put me to sleep. Your teacher’s objective might be to get through the class without any trouble from the known gang member who actually decided to show up that day. Your main character and her best friend’s objective might be to continue the conversation they started before the bell, without getting caught. And the known gang member? He has a thing for your main character and is trying to get a rise out of her, especially since she’s pretending he doesn’t exist.

Now that you know each of the characters’ objectives for the scene, you’ll be able to write dialogue and action that keeps readers glued to the page. Plus you can make sure some of your character’s objective clash (like the main character and that hot gang member) so the scene is dripping with conflict.

Obviously this is perfect for those of us who write outlines first. But don’t worry if you don’t. You can always go back after writing your first draft, and figure it out before moving onto your next one.

For more information (and there’s a whole chapters worth), be sure to check out Getting Into Character: Seven Secrets A Novelist Can Learn From Actors. I told you last week this is an awesome book.

Getting Into Character

Not long ago, I was wandering through my local library and found the book Getting Into Character: Seven Secrets A Novelist Can Learn From Actors by Brandilyn Collins. Unpleasant memories of my high school drama class came hurtling back to me. Two guys getting into a fight during our improv, and me standing there stunned, unable to utter a coherent sentence. Disaster 101.

I slipped the book back onto the shelf and bolted out of the section, leaving my painful past behind.

A week later, I returned to the library and checked the book out. By the end of the day, I was dying to try out the advice (some of which I already knew). I also developed a new found respect for actors. I didn’t realize how much work is involved in getting ready for a role. They really do know the character they play, inside and out. And depending on the role, they do tons of research beforehand to understand the character’s psyche. You can’t play a teen with a bipolar disorder if you know nothing about the condition.

I’ll admit, I’m a huge fan of pre-planning and research. I like to know my characters and the plot before I start writing the first draft. True, both develop further as I write, but it helps to know where I’m going before I start typing. I found the first chapter of Getting Into Character to be especially enlightening at this stage of my writing. You learn how to personalize your characters beyond the typical questionnaire. I have a pretty extensive one I like to use, but nothing prepared me for getting to know my characters better than the exercises in chapter one of Brandilyn’s book.

Through questioning, you’ll discover your character's values. From the values, you'll identify the character's traits. And based on these traits, the subsequent mannerisms will be developed. No more forming random lists or stereotypical characters. Plus your readers will be able to tell your characters apart. They’ll be vivid on every page of your novel. It’s a lot of hard work, but I promise the results are worth it. You’ll be shocked just how flat your characters were before.

And that’s only chapter one. The rest of the book is also bursting with great advice to help your characters leap off the page. And isn’t that what you want when you pick up a novel from the bookstore shelf? I know that’s what I’m searching for.

So even if drama wasn’t your strong point in school, you’ll find the advice in Getting Into Character invaluable. And your readers and characters will thank you for it.

Lyrical Writing

When I heard Aerosmith’s song Angel, I knew it was perfect for my current novel. All I had to do was weave some of the verses and the chorus into the scene to show how the song triggered a terrifying flashback for my protagonist. The results were awesome, and a little creepy. Yes, I would have to get copyright permission, but that was okay. It beat writing my own, which I knew would end up sounding sucky.

Okay, not so fast. I did some research at a writer’s suggestion. Turns out, it would be expensive and time consuming to try to get permission to use the song, and in the end the band might not even grant it to me. Oh great! Now I had no choice but to write my own lyrics.

As it turned out, writing lyrics is similar to writing a story, because that’s what a song is, in a way. You still need to have a concept and a hook. You need to be concise with your details, and use imagery to add texture and meaning. Plus, you need to write a beginning that grabs your listeners. Fortunately for me, I didn’t have to write the whole song, just a couple of verses and the chorus. The added bonus was I could incorporate part of the concept of my novel, which unified the whole thing. And the result was even creepier than with the Aerosmith song. What more could I want?

Granted, the song won’t top any charts. Nor will any musicians be banging on my front door, pleading with me so they can use it. But that’s okay. At least now I’ve given an agent one less reason to reject my manuscript. Yay!

Has anyone else had to write lyrics or poetry for their novel? If so, was this a new experience for you?

The Kiss

I was just reading Elana Johnson’s blog, and apparently we writers are supposed to post a kiss from novel we are working on or have worked on. So here it is from Lost in a Heartbeat. Hope you enjoy it as much as Calleigh did. At least this kiss wasn’t disastrous like the first one.

We finished our breakfast, but I still wasn’t ready to move. Aaron didn’t seem to be in a big rush to leave, either.

I scooted closer to him, our bodies touching, my heart thumping so loud I was positive he could hear it.

“About the optional condition regarding this bracelet”—I held up my wrist to show him what bracelet I was referring to—“the answer is yes.”

He knew exactly what I meant. He leaned forward, his lips close to mine, then he paused, a smile on his face. “You’re not gonna hit me if I kiss you, are you?”

I didn’t actually answer him with words. Instead, I leaned in the rest of the way and kissed him. And unlike last time, the only thoughts I had were of Aaron and the caress of his mouth against mine.

Do you have a favorite book in which the kiss scene rocks? Check out this link to Absolute Write in which kissing in YA novels was discussed. There’re some great recommendations.

Great Books for Fiction Writers

Here’re some great books for fiction writers who want to improve their craft. Perfect if your family is looking for last minute gift suggestions for you.

Characterization

Writer’s Guide to Character Traits by Linda N. Edelstein. It includes profiles of human behaviours and personality types.

Getting Into Character: Seven Secrets a Novelist Can Learn From Actors by Brandilyn Collins. No more flat characters if you use the suggestions in this book.

Miscellaneous

Hooked by Les Edgerton. What to do and not to do at the beginning of your story.

The Power of Point of View: Make Your Story Come to Life by Alicia Rasley

Description by Monica Wood

Between the Lines by Jessica Morrell. This one's a huge favorite of mine.

Writing for the YA Market

Writing and Selling the YA Novel by K.L. Going

Editing Fiction

Manuscript Makeover: Revision Techniques No Fiction Writer Can Afford to Ignore by Elizabeth Lyon

Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King

Style

Spunk & Bite: A writer’s guide to bold, contemporary Style by Arthur Plotnik

Sin and Syntax: How to craft wickedly effective prose by Constance Hale

The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier by Bonnie Trenga

A Dash of Style by Noah Lukeman

Getting the Words Right: 39 ways to improve your writing by Theodore A. Rees Cheney

Books Written Especially for Teens

Writing Magic: Creating Stories That Fly by Gail Carson Levine (the author of books such as Ella Enchanted)

Oh, Cometh Thy Ideas

My seven-year-old son’s teacher asked me if I could talk to his class about writing and the publishing industry. Hey, why not? I thought. Now this is something I definitely know about.

But then she asked if I would discuss where my story ideas come from. Whoa, I can’t do that. My current book deals with rape, not something that I want to discuss with second graders. So as you can imagine, I won’t be discussing with the class exactly where I found some of my ideas for Lost in a Heartbeat, but I can share some of those moments that triggered an idea.

Basically, anything that gets me thinking can lead to a story idea. For Lost in a Heartbeat, an element of the plot comes from a horrific event that occurred in a city not far from my own. The news story spurred an idea for something that happens in my novel (sorry, no plot spoilers here).

Another idea came from reading Saving Zoë by Alyson Noël. In it, the protagonist learns about the events leading up to her sister’s murder by reading her diary. This, to me, was a brilliant way to reveal something about the sister of one of my characters (again, no plot spoilers). Because of the diary, I was able to built suspense into the revelation.

Ideas also come to me while I’m running. My mind is free to wander (and wonder), allowing all kinds of ideas to flow. Unfortunately, I don’t usually carry pen and paper with me, so I have to repeat the idea in my mind the entire way home or else it will vanish.

So as you can see, anything can encourage ideas to visit you—a news story, book, song, movie, TV show. The main thing is to turn it around and make the idea your own. Use it as a stepping stone to something new.

My suggestion to you is to have a notebook with you at all times so you can jot down those moments of inspiration. You’ll be thankful you did.

The Thesaurus Extraordinaire

Most people are familiar with the thesaurus. You’re writing a paper and you used the same word several times. Repetition is never good; actually it can be plain boring. So you grab your thesaurus and search for another word. Or better yet, you can grab your copy of Roget’s International Thesaurus, and you’ll be greeted by more exciting choices than you ever thought possible. Way more choices than in a regular thesaurus.

Unlike the typical thesaurus, which is listed in alphabetic order, words in the Roget’s International Thesaurus are listed according to categories. You look up the word you want in the index (which is listed alphabetically) and it will refer you to several different categories. You pick the one(s) that best represent the definition you’re looking for then zip over to the appropriate page. You’ll be astounded; I promise.

If you’re not positive what word you’re looking for, then you can skim through the categories listed at the front of the book to get some suggestions. For example, you want to talk about your protagonist’s fear of spiders.

You could say: I felt scared.

Or worse yet: I was scared.

Not good enough, you think. So you skim though the categories in Roget’s International Thesaurus and decide to show the movement of fear going through your body. Hmmm. Streams flow. So you flip to the section under streams, and study the verbs listed. Now this isn’t some tiny spider that’s causing ‘fear to seep’ into your body. It’s huge. Like one of those from the second Harry Potter movie, The Chamber of Secrets. Now your ‘fear surges’ through your body, or any of the other vivid verb that appeal to you. See how easy that was to breathe life into your writing? And the best part is the book isn’t expensive. It’s the same price of a YA hardback novel.

Don’t Leave ’Em Dangling

I focused on the lake, instead of looking at Mike, partially surrounded by the forest.

When you read the above sentence, it looks as if Mike is partially surrounded by the forest. However, that’s not what I intended. The correct sentence should read:

Instead of looking at Mike, I focused on the lake, partially surrounded by the forest.

Do you notice the difference? The modifier “partially surrounded by the forest” is next to the noun it’s describing. The forest is partially surrounding the lake, not Mike. Quite a different image, right?

Misplaced modifiers generally occur when you’re writing the first draft, since you’re racing to get your thoughts down before they slip away. The modifiers can occur at the beginning, middle, or at the end of a sentence. When you go back to edit, check all your clauses and modifying words to make sure they are next to the noun you want to modify. Circle the noun you want to describe. If the clause is at the beginning of the sentence, it will be directly in front of the noun. Otherwise, it will be directly after it. If they are modifying the wrong noun, rewrite your sentence so that they are linked with the correct one, or else the result might be quite comical.

She extended toward the guy her hand who I guessed to be about my age. Seventeen, maybe eighteen.

Get active!

Now I’m not talking about going skiing or running or anything other activity that gets you moving. I’m referring to giving your verbs a workout.

There are two types of verbs for the intent of this discussion: passive and active. Passive verbs include verbs such as to be. Bonnie Trenga also throws the following verbs into the pile: to do, to get, to go, to have, to make, and to use. Action verbs, on the other hand, are more action packed—hence their name. Passive verbs are boring. Action verbs aren’t.


Examples:
I went over to the mall entrance. (passive)
I zigzagged between harried shoppers on my way to the mall entrance. (active)

Notice which one paints a more vivid picture. Don’t get me wrong though, there are times when passive verbs are okay, but the idea is switch to an active verb when at all possible.

Next time you write a paper, take your highlighter and mark all those passive verbs, then see which ones you can make more exciting. Your teacher (and grade) will thank you.

Suggested Reading:
Sin and Syntax: How to Craft Wickedly Effective Prose by Constance Hale
The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier: How to Solve the Mysteries of Weak Writing by Bonnie Trenga

Oh Me Oh Mi of Overwriting

Janie runs quickly through the incredibly snowy yards from two streets away and slips very quietly through the bright purple front door of her two story house complete with cream-colored siding and a roof that needs to be repair.

And then.

Everything goes really black. Pitch black. As black as the night.

She holds her head tightly, cursing her mother under her minty breath as the whirling, twirling, swirling kaleidoscope of colors—red, orange, green, purple—builds quickly and throws her completely and utterly off balance. She bumps hard and painfully against the dirty white wall, the paint peeling in quite a few places and holds on really hard, and then very slowly lowers herself blindly to the worn carpeted floor as her fingers, with the beautifully painted long fingernails, go numb. The last thing she really needs is to crack her head wide open. Again.

Welcome to the not-so-wonderful world of overwriting. This is where the eager writer drowns his pose in adverbs and adjective, thinking it makes the writing more vivid. This is one of those times when the saying ‘less is more’ really does apply. As you can see from the above version of Lisa McMann’s novel, Fade (New York Times bestseller), all those adjectives and adverbs do nothing for the story. If anything, they bury Lisa’s compelling voice. Compare it to the actual version from the novel.

Janie sprints through the snowy yards from two streets away and slips quietly through the front door of her house.

And then.

Everything goes black.

She grips her head, cursing her mother under her breath as the whirling kaleidoscope of colors builds and throws her off balance. She bumps against the wall and holds on, and then slowly lowers herself blindly to the floor as her fingers go numb. The last thing she needs is to crack her head open. Again.

Do you see the difference?

In the first version, weak verbs are modified with adverbs. For example, ‘runs quickly, instead of ‘sprints’ and ‘holds her head tightly’ instead of ‘grips her head’. If you find you’re reaching for an adverb--especially one ending in –ly--to describe the verb, then grab your thesaurus and look up ‘run’. You’ll find an array of better words (bolt, sprint, dash, etc) that paint a concrete picture of what you’re character is doing.

For adjectives, don’t place a list of them in front of the noun. Try to keep it down to two. If you need to include more, than place some of them behind the noun. For example: Instead of “Tired, bruised, wearing a bloodied, torn dress, Alyssa stumbled along the road.” Write, “Tired and bruised, Alyssa, her dress bloodied and torn, stumbled along the road.” Also, delete any adjectives that are redundant. For example: a baby kitten is like saying a baby baby. All kittens are babies. Right?

Exercise: For your next writing project—fiction or non-fiction—highlight all the adjectives and adverbs, and see how many you can cut out and how many verb/adverb combinations you can replace with dynamic verbs. Your reader (and teacher) will thank you for it.

Recommended reading:
Sin and Syntax: How to Craft Wickedly Effective Prose, Constance Hale

Thanks, But This Isn’t For Us: A (Sort of) Compassionate Guide to Why Your Writing Is Being Rejected, Jessica Morrell

Note: This super cool picture was generated using the Wordle program at http://www.wordle.net/.

Give Your Manuscript a Voice

Last week, I talked about the mysterious voice. This week I’m referring to a different voice. The one linked to your computer. H.L Dyer from the Query Tracker blog posted two weeks ago a suggestion on how to use your computer's voice when editing your novel (or term paper). It was a brilliant suggestion that I couldn’t wait to share with you.

According to the comments that were generated by the post, there’re several ways of doing this, including downloading programs. If you want to learn more about those, or if you use an Apple instead of a PC, then check out the post. Otherwise, here are the step-by-step instructions for giving your manuscript or term paper a computer-generated voice. I’ll warn you now, it’s not perfect. Sometimes the pronunciation is off, but it’s good enough for our purpose.

1. Copy the pages you want to use from Word.


2. Go to ACCESSORIES in the start-up menu.


3. Click on NOTEPAD and paste your Word document there.


4. Under ACCESSORIES, open the EASE OF ACCESS folder then click on NARRATOR. This will open the ‘text to voice’ function on your computer.


5. To listen to your document, press the INSERT key and F7 at the same time. Anna will start reading your assignment.

To edit, I prefer to read from a hard copy of my document and follow along with Anna. When I notice an awkward sentence, typo, missing or extra word, etc., I highlight it and continue through the document until it’s finished. I then go back and edit those highlighted parts.

Now why go to all this effort when you could easily read it out loud? Well, because your eyes and brain love to play tricks on you and it’s easy to miss those errors. I find I tend to read what isn’t necessarily on my page, but what I think should be there. This is especially true if I’ve read my manuscript out loud several times. My brain becomes programmed to read it a certain way regardless if I’ve made changes to it.

You can also save your document as a PDF file then used the read along feature associated with the program. I tried it and hated it. It made a mess of my manuscript, especially since it had problems pronouncing words with contractions (e.g. don’t).

Give the above method a try. It’s definitely worth the effort.

The Mysterious Voice

As mentioned last week, the voice is what grabs your reader from the beginning and keeps them reading. It’s highly subjective, though. What one person may love, may turn another reader off. Oh well. No one said writing was easy.

But what is the narrative voice? According to Jessica Morrell (see recommended reading), it is “the distinct and memorable sound of the writer, narrator, or character.” The voice, in fiction, will depend on who the narrator is. Is she witty, serious, or conversational? Is she more comfortable discussing fashion or discussing Jane Austen (or maybe both)? Is she from an upper class, middle class, or lower class family? Does she swear? A little or a lot? Is she basically happy with her life or depressed? Is she a romantic or a cynic? All of these will shape the narrative voice.

Here are a few examples from teen novels:

City of Glass, Cassandra Clare (fantasy)

Clary had gone straight to the Institute after she’d talked to Madeleine at the hospital. Jace had been the first one she’d told her mother’s secret to, before even Luke. And he’d stood there and stared at her, getting paler and paler as she spoke, as if she weren’t so much telling him how she could save her mother as draining the blood out of him with cruel slowness.

Parties & Potions, Sarah Mlynowski (chick lit)

Do I like red?

I pirouette before the mirror. Yes, the red shirt could work. Red makes my hair look super-glossy and glamorous and goes great with my favorite jeans.

If I do say so myself.

The shirt has a scooped neckline and adorable bubble sleeves. It’s my back-to-school top for the big, BIG day tomorrow—the very first day of sophomore year! My BFF, Tammy, and I went shopping last week for the occasion. I know I could have just zapped something up, but the first rule of witchcraft is that everything comes from something. I didn’t want to accidentally shoplift a new shirt from Bloomingdale’s.

Along for the Ride, Sarah Dessen (contemporary)

Ten minutes later, I was slipping out the side door, my shoes tucked under my arm, and getting into my car. I drove down the mostly empty streets, past quiet neighbourhoods and dark storefronts, until the lights of Ray’s Diner appeared in the distance. Small, with entirely too much neon, and tables that were always a bit sticky, Ray’s was the only place in town open twenty-four hours, 365 days a year. Since I hadn’t been sleeping, I’d spent more nights than not in a booth there, reading or studying, tipping a buck every hour on whatever I ordered until the sun came up.

Wake, Lisa McMann (paranormal)

Janie Hannagan’s math book slips from her fingers. She grips the edge of the table in the school library. Everything goes black and silent. She sighs and rests her head on the table. Tries to pull herself out of it, but fails miserably. She’s too tired today. Too hungry. She really doesn’t have time for this.

And then.

As you can see from the examples above, the voice is unique for each one. Cassandra Clare is, in my opinion, the master of imagery. Sarah Dessen has a more formal voice. Both used longer, more complex sentences in their novels. Lisa’s voice is compelling with short sentences and sentence fragments (either the noun or the verb is missing), both of which are used frequently throughout the novel. All four use sentence structure and word choices that fit their voice.

The main thing with the voice is to be consistent. You don’t want to start off sounding like Cassandra and end up sounding like Lisa. Not that you should try to copy their voices, either. Experiment until you find the right one for your character. And make sure it sounds natural and not forced and unauthentic.

But what about non-fiction? Does it have a voice or is that only in fiction? Yes, it absolutely has a voice. Figure out what the purpose of the term paper is, then determine the best voice for it. Theme can also play a role here. Of course, if you’re writing a term paper on Romeo and Juliet, you might want to avoid the snarky voice. When in doubt, ask your teacher first. Some prefer a formal voice; some would be delighted if you write something that sticks out from the pile of dull essays. Again, make sure it doesn’t sound forced. Nothing flops faster than humor that misses the mark.

Exercise: Study different novels, short stories, and non-fiction works (magazine articles, books, newspapers) and see what you like and don’t like in a particular voice. Next try to create a voice for a short story or non-fiction article based on your findings. Don’t worry, it might be a mess at first, but you won’t know until you’ve experimented. And don’t be afraid to play around with different voices. You might surprise yourself.

Recommended Readings:
Writing & Selling the YA Novel, K.L. Going

Thanks, But This Isn’t For Us, Jessical Morrell

Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, Renni Browne and Dave King

Riveting First Words

Whether you’re writing a term paper, short story, or novel, your first words have an important job to do. They grab the reader’s attention, leaving ’em begging for more. Fail to do that, and your reader will find something more exciting to do, like cleaning the lint from her belly button.

Everyone has different expectations as to what makes a great first paragraph of a story. Genre and personal preference play a large role here. But the most important thing to grab your reader’s attention is the voice. Take note, this is also true for term papers. Not to leave you in suspense or anything, but I’ll be discussing the mysterious voice next week.

There are a few things you want to avoid in the first paragraph of your story:

1. Rambling beginnings where nothing is happening except for a long detailed description of your setting and main character. Boring!


2. Overwriting. This means too many adverbs and adjectives. I’ll be discussing this topic more in the near future.


3. Jumping in without giving the reader anything to cling to. Why should we care about your protagonist as she jumps off a cliff?


4. Asking questions. I read a first paragraph recently from an unpublished fiction writer. In it, the protagonist asked five questions. The paragraph had only six sentences in it to begin with. You want your readers to be asking the questions, not the protagonist. If your readers are asking them, then they’ll keep reading because they want to discover the answers. Right?


5. Starting with your protagonist waking up, unless she’s jarred awake by someone entering her room. If you do this, then build the suspense (always a goodie for opening paragraphs) so the reader has to go to the next paragraph to find out who the perpetrator is. A vampire. A criminal. Her older sister coming in through the window after sneaking around with the boyfriend her parents disapprove of. Isn’t that more riveting than having Janie wake up, look at the alarm clock, and deliberate what to wear to school?

Those are but a few suggestions as to how not to start your story. But then how should it begin? The books listed below have some great ideas, but I found them orientated more toward adult novels. The best thing is to do a little detective work of your own. Grab your favorite novels or short stories, and study their opening paragraphs to see what you like about them and what turns you off. Then keep that in mind for your next fiction project.

Here’s one of my favorites:

Phoebe and her friends held their breath as the dead girl in the plaid skirt walked past their table in the lunchroom. Her motion kicked up a cool trailing breeze that seemed to settle on the skin and catch in their hair. As they watched her go by, Phoebe could almost tell what everyone was thinking. Everyone, that is, except for the dead girl. (Generation Dead, Daniel Waters)

What could be more compelling than that?

Recommended readings:

Thanks, But This Isn’t For Us: A (Sort of) Compassionate Guide to Why Your Writing Is Being Rejected, Jessica Morrell

Hooked: write fiction that grabs readers at page one and never lets them go, Les Edgerton

Note: This super cool picture was generated using the first 100 pages of my YA novel, Lost in a Heartbeat, using the Wordle program at http://www.wordle.net/.

Gotta Love That Research

I love research. I have a Master’s of Science in exercise biological sciences ’cause I love it so much. But doing research for my novels is by far my favorite type so far. There’s a whole world out there begging for you to dive in and explore it.

For my current project, Lost in a Heartbeat (YA contemporary), I investigated the world of dream analysis and animal symbolism. I also poured through books on jewellery design (not that I’m planning to take up the hobby). Oh, and then there was the research on sprained wrists, drowning, and competitive swimming. And don’t forget those YA books I’ve read with similar themes to what I’m writing.

And yes, I loved every minute of it.

The downside? The librarian now thinks I’ve been raped, my husband abuses me, my teenage daughter is struggling with depression, and one of my children has leukemia. Betcha she’s missed all the books I’ve borrowed on writing fiction. I’m thinking of having a T-shirt made saying, “Research is the Fiction Writer’s Best Friend.” What do you think?

But say you’ve come up with a great idea for a story, what comes next? For me, I start off with the basic research. For Lost in a Heartbeat, a story about a teenage girl who has to find the courage to return to competitive swimming after she was raped, I began by searching for associations that deal with rape. RAINN.org (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is a great resource for both the rape survivor and her loved ones. I also borrowed books on the topic from the library. Not all rape survivors deal with rape in exactly the same way, which was important to know when I worked on the characterization for my protagonist.

What’s next? For me, I prefer to outline my novels instead of writing as I go. Everyone, though, is different. As I started to plan the book, I came up with the idea of using dream analysis and animal symbolism to further the plot. Google is a great search engine for that. Just be careful of the information you decide to go with. Depending on what you’re writing about, you want to make sure the source is credible. Wikipedia is a great resource but it isn’t without errors. Maybe you know someone who’s an expert in the subject and you can interview them. If you have a medical or psychological question pertaining to your novel, you can contact H.L. Dyer (paediatrician) and Carolyn Kaufman (charter psychologist) at the Query Tracker Blog. They're a tremendous resource.

And for those of you interesting in writing fantasy and paranormal novels, do you really have to do research? Isn’t it all make believe, anyway? Maybe. But even Stephenie Meyer did extensive research on vampire myths when writing the Twilight Saga. And Melissa Marr is knowledgeable about fairy lore.

Want some great tips on researching for your current or next project? Be sure to check out this link and this link from the Query Tracker Blog.

Remember, even though you’re writing fiction—as in made up—the details are important, as are the credible facts. And you never know, your research may spark an idea for another book.

Have a great week!